First off, let me wish my mother as well as all the mothers and of course, would-be mothers, ' A very Happy Mothers Day'.
Today I got the opportunity to write something on 'Mother' as its Mothers Day and I feel extremely proud to participate and write something today. Well, it is really hard to write about Mom so easily in a few words but I am feeling so lucky and am so delighted to express my excitement for writing something for this special day. As, I got the chance to share my feelings worldwide. This is the day , very special, very important and very pious for all of us. Why?The reason is very simple. We are all here because of our mom.
But did anyone know this is the same feelings for our mother too. I will tell you why? Though, I believe in Art of Living and I remember the words of Rajneesh, he well-said that 'the moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.' He is absolutely right. Because a woman is never complete until she become a mother. When she becomes mother of her own child, she is a complete woman, woman full of love, patience, power, energy and knowledge, indeed.
Well, the word 'Mother', is so divine, that the heart beat so fast just in her name itself and sometimes stops at once when you think of her. Nevertheless, her love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible things in the world. One can do anything in this world if one's Mom is there, encourages and boosting up the spirit to do impossible things possible. Without her, its like bank without money, fishes without water, beauty without smile and a man without humanity.
Have you ever wondered why Mother's Day is celebrated? I had the same question in my mind but with times I understood now what would be the actual reason behind the celebration of Mothers Day. Each and everyday, she do lots of things for us, busy all the time, right from cooking, cleaning, washing, managing all things properly but hardly gets time for herself but did she ever said anything? No, never. So I think she must get at least one off from her daily scheduled life and let her take it easy and relax while the rest of the family does the work. And so I think, this one day is chosen to thank her and make her special for being so kind, so loving and so caring for us. Though celebrating motherhood is a historical tradition dating back almost as far as mothers themselves. Perhaps the country's greatest proponent of motherhood is Mothers Day, I think.
What I feel that she must also know how special she is in her child's life, so, on Mothers Day, I let my mom relax and let her see what a wonderful family she has. I may sometimes forget the words she said to me but I always remember the tune of her. I know, my mother loves me very much but she never expresses in words. But you know, the best conversations with my mothers always take place in silence, when we are alone, then only the heart speaks. She melt down so easily and her silence speaks up everything. Yes, silence speaks louder than words, I know. All I can say, my mom is a rhythm of my life in my heart of comfort, peace, happiness, and the whole being.
Many families celebrates Mother's Day in different ways and I too, celebrate this day with great enthuasism. Usually I want my mom sleep late till I ask her to wake up but as usual she wake up early before me and go into the kitchen to prepare her breakfast but I didn't let her do anything except relax. I prepare breakfast for my mom, her favourite " Aloo Parathe" with "Badam lassi". But last year, I celebrated differently. I thought to give her a surprise. I took her to the beauty parlour, get her well groomed and then went shopping in her favourite saree shop "Sanghi" and by the end of the day, a surprised dinner in her favourite restaurant "Kaveri". Whole day, we enjoyed so much. She was so happy.
My mother is very special, not because I am her daughter but because she has done so much for her kids. Being a mother of us, she never differentiated her daughter and a son. She equally loves her children whether it's a girl or a boy. To be very frank, she is the divine power by my side. I feel I can do anything in this world if she is there showering her love and blessings upon me. So, I think Mothers Day is the day to thank her for everything she has done for me and so Mothers Day is very special to me. Now I just want to say " I love you, Mom!", Thanks for being my mother and a guide who mean a world to me.
Friday, April 24, 2009
How To Deal With Anger?
If you always seem to be angry then it's maybe time that you found out how to deal with anger. Not just for your own sake but also for the sake of the people around you.
Sure, there are lots of things to be angry about in our busy modern day life. But is it worth it? You're winding yourself up and alienating the people who care about you most. Hopefully the next statement isn't going to wind you up further, but you're maybe also being passed over for promotion because of your anger.
So it's time to do something about it!
Get angry at your anger!
1. Can you change the situation?
If you're getting angry about something over which you have no control, why are you letting it get under your skin? Some things were meant to bug us - heavy traffic on the freeway, the way the queue you've joined always moves the slowest, that kind of thing. But if you can't change the situation, don't get worked up about it. Because that will likely make it worse. Road rage will make you a worse driver and more likely to have an accident. Shouting and cursing at the cashier will put them into even slower mode and make their attitude worse.
2. Can you change how you react?
Now this one is actually under your control. You decide how you're going to react to something. OK, at the moment it's maybe hard-wired into your system that you fly off the handle at the slightest provocation. But that's your decision. Ultimately, your anger is your choice. Make a different choice next time - even if it's only a short 5 or 10 second "time out" before you let loose. Experiment. Catch yourself starting to get angry (you already know the triggers) and change your reaction. Even if it's only for a few seconds at first. Don't get angry about this - you've taken years to learn how to be the perfect angry person, don't expect to change to Mr or Mrs Nice overnight.
3. Small steps are often best
The last thing you want is to be sent on an anger management course against your will. You'll just be there growling with a group of other angry people. So start making the changes yourself. Small ones are good because your natural instincts won't fight them off. Turn the volume of your shouts down a notch. Cut your anger session short by a few seconds. Remember to breathe! This last tip is a good one - take a long deep breath, just like your mother told you to do when you were upset as a child. Fill your lungs with air - but not in preparation to shout at the object of your anger, just to feel better in yourself if only for a moment or two.
4. Congratulate and treat yourself when you control your anger
Chances are in the first stages no-one else will notice that you were less angry than normal. But you will. Congratulate yourself. Maybe even buy yourself a small treat. We work well with positive rewards, so give yourself a reward when you've curbed your anger.
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About
Welcome to Feelings! So glad you stopped by. We hope to pop a squat and stay a while.
The world around us is full of a variety of feelings, and if we stop and take time to look, we will experience them. A beautiful sunrise brings a sense of awe, while a tranquil pond brings peace, and a rushing river brings energy. Historical architecture brings us closer to those who created it, and helps us understand their hopes and dreams. The possibilities are endless.
The world around us is full of a variety of feelings, and if we stop and take time to look, we will experience them. A beautiful sunrise brings a sense of awe, while a tranquil pond brings peace, and a rushing river brings energy. Historical architecture brings us closer to those who created it, and helps us understand their hopes and dreams. The possibilities are endless.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Living a life of Joy
When you live on purpose, your relationship with time changes dramatically. You’ll no longer be looking for happiness somewhere in the future. You’ll stop saying to yourself, “Once X happens then I’ll be where I want to be. Then I’ll be happy.” Instead you will look to your present and say, “This is exactly where I want to be right now… and nowhere else. Nothing could be more perfect than this precise moment.”
The emotion that accompanies this state is joy. Joy results from total acceptance of your present moment. Whenever you project your consciousness away from the present moment and seek happiness in another time or place, you leave joy behind. When all parts of your being fully embrace where you are right now, you can’t help but feel joyful.
Most likely you haven’t reached this state yet. But it’s well within your capability to do so. You can reach it by following your internal compass. By assessing your current emotional state and comparing it to the state of joy, you can get a sense of your distance from this state. You can pinpoint where you are at any time along the levels of consciousness scale. Inner peace is right next to joy. Neutrality is a little further out. Far beyond that lies anger. And really far away is fear. The more powerless you feel, the further you are from joy, and the more you’re resisting what is.
If you are far away from joy, you cannot simply jump to this state immediately and stay there for long. You might be able to experience it temporarily, such as through meditation, but the circumstances of your life will soon pull you back to your previous level. But with conscious intent, you can eventually reach this state and make it your default. And the way you do this is to keep re-pointing your life in the direction of joy by making better decisions.
Whenever you’re faced with a decision, even a seemingly mundane one such as what to eat for your next meal, choose the option that brings you closest to joy. That will be the option that makes you feel the most powerful. It will not necessarily be what makes you feel joyful, especially if you are currently in a very negative state. If you’re currently depressed, you may have zero choices that will produce joy in this moment. But you will have some choice that makes you feel more powerful and alive than the others, and that is the choice that will turn your life in the direction of joy.
If you are feeling fearful and worried, perhaps the best action you can find is one which makes you feel greedy or angry. That is perfectly fine. Greed and anger are both higher states than fear; they are closer to joy. It is better to act out of anger than out of fear, since it will turn you in the direction of joy. And soon you’ll be able to progress beyond anger. Do not beat yourself up if a seemingly negative state like anger is the best you can muster at this time in your life. You cannot expect any more from yourself than your best. The anger will pass, and you’ll soon be able to climb the ladder towards more positive states. If you are in a deep negative state such as depression, you will have to pass through higher negative states first before you can reach the positive ones. So going from depression to anger is a very positive step in the right direction.
If you proceed in this manner with every decision you can, eventually you will reach the state of joy. It may take some time, but you will eventually reach it and make it your default state.
Joy is in fact your natural state of being. Babies enter this state very easily because they are fully in the present moment. They do not seek themselves in the past or future.
When you are joyful, your life flows with ease and lightness. Existence is no longer a struggle. Why? Because when you stop resisting the present moment, you stop creating problems for yourself. Resistance creates internal problems like stress, fear, and disease, but it also creates external problems like conflict, scarcity, and injustice. When you learn to choose the direction that creates the most joy in your life, your life will become a joyful experience in each and every moment. And of course it is easy to accept and embrace any present moment in which you feel joyful, so the state will naturally perpetuate itself. Joyful feelings create joyful actions which produce more joyful feelings.
The state of joy enables you to stop worrying about your survival, to stop fearing what may or may not happen, and to stop fighting your present moments. You’ll find it easier and easier to satisfy your needs. This will allow you to direct your consciousness outward and interact with the world without fear. People will seem much less threatening to you. Even strangers will smile at you more because they’ll pick up on your joyful state. Positive people will be drawn to you like a magnet, and you’ll soon find your life filled with empowering relationships. All the support you need will come to you. And this in turn will give you the energy and drive to embrace your true purpose.
Simply make decisions that bring you as close to joy as possible, even if it seems very distant at first, and soon you’ll find your life becoming more joyful. You have free will though, so in any moment you can decide to move towards joy or away from it.
The choice is yours.
The emotion that accompanies this state is joy. Joy results from total acceptance of your present moment. Whenever you project your consciousness away from the present moment and seek happiness in another time or place, you leave joy behind. When all parts of your being fully embrace where you are right now, you can’t help but feel joyful.
Most likely you haven’t reached this state yet. But it’s well within your capability to do so. You can reach it by following your internal compass. By assessing your current emotional state and comparing it to the state of joy, you can get a sense of your distance from this state. You can pinpoint where you are at any time along the levels of consciousness scale. Inner peace is right next to joy. Neutrality is a little further out. Far beyond that lies anger. And really far away is fear. The more powerless you feel, the further you are from joy, and the more you’re resisting what is.
If you are far away from joy, you cannot simply jump to this state immediately and stay there for long. You might be able to experience it temporarily, such as through meditation, but the circumstances of your life will soon pull you back to your previous level. But with conscious intent, you can eventually reach this state and make it your default. And the way you do this is to keep re-pointing your life in the direction of joy by making better decisions.
Whenever you’re faced with a decision, even a seemingly mundane one such as what to eat for your next meal, choose the option that brings you closest to joy. That will be the option that makes you feel the most powerful. It will not necessarily be what makes you feel joyful, especially if you are currently in a very negative state. If you’re currently depressed, you may have zero choices that will produce joy in this moment. But you will have some choice that makes you feel more powerful and alive than the others, and that is the choice that will turn your life in the direction of joy.
If you are feeling fearful and worried, perhaps the best action you can find is one which makes you feel greedy or angry. That is perfectly fine. Greed and anger are both higher states than fear; they are closer to joy. It is better to act out of anger than out of fear, since it will turn you in the direction of joy. And soon you’ll be able to progress beyond anger. Do not beat yourself up if a seemingly negative state like anger is the best you can muster at this time in your life. You cannot expect any more from yourself than your best. The anger will pass, and you’ll soon be able to climb the ladder towards more positive states. If you are in a deep negative state such as depression, you will have to pass through higher negative states first before you can reach the positive ones. So going from depression to anger is a very positive step in the right direction.
If you proceed in this manner with every decision you can, eventually you will reach the state of joy. It may take some time, but you will eventually reach it and make it your default state.
Joy is in fact your natural state of being. Babies enter this state very easily because they are fully in the present moment. They do not seek themselves in the past or future.
When you are joyful, your life flows with ease and lightness. Existence is no longer a struggle. Why? Because when you stop resisting the present moment, you stop creating problems for yourself. Resistance creates internal problems like stress, fear, and disease, but it also creates external problems like conflict, scarcity, and injustice. When you learn to choose the direction that creates the most joy in your life, your life will become a joyful experience in each and every moment. And of course it is easy to accept and embrace any present moment in which you feel joyful, so the state will naturally perpetuate itself. Joyful feelings create joyful actions which produce more joyful feelings.
The state of joy enables you to stop worrying about your survival, to stop fearing what may or may not happen, and to stop fighting your present moments. You’ll find it easier and easier to satisfy your needs. This will allow you to direct your consciousness outward and interact with the world without fear. People will seem much less threatening to you. Even strangers will smile at you more because they’ll pick up on your joyful state. Positive people will be drawn to you like a magnet, and you’ll soon find your life filled with empowering relationships. All the support you need will come to you. And this in turn will give you the energy and drive to embrace your true purpose.
Simply make decisions that bring you as close to joy as possible, even if it seems very distant at first, and soon you’ll find your life becoming more joyful. You have free will though, so in any moment you can decide to move towards joy or away from it.
The choice is yours.
Dealing with Peer Pressure
Making decisions on your own is hard enough, but when other people get involved and try to pressure you one way or another it can be even harder. People who are your age, like your classmates, are called peers. When they try to influence how you act, to get you to do something, it's called peer pressure. It's something everyone has to deal with - even adults. Let's talk about how to handle it.
What is Peer Pressure?
Peers influence your life, even if you don't realize it, just by spending time with you. You learn from them, and they learn from you. It's only human nature to listen to and learn from other people in your age group.
Peers can have a positive influence on each other: Maybe another student in your science class taught you an easy way to remember the planets in the solar system, or someone on the soccer team taught you a cool trick with the ball. You might admire a friend who is always a good sport and try to be more like him or her. Maybe you got others excited about your new favorite book, and now everyone's reading it. These are examples of how peers positively influence each other every day.
Sometimes peers influence each other in negative ways: For example, a few kids in school might try to get you to cut class with them, your soccer friend might try to convince you to be mean to another player and never pass her the ball, or a kid in the neighborhood might want you to shoplift with him.
Why Do People Give in to Peer Pressure?
Some kids give in to peer pressure because they want to be liked, to fit in, or because they worry that other kids may make fun of them if they don't go along with the group. Others may go along because they are curious to try something new that others are doing. The idea that "everyone's doing it" may influence some kids to leave their better judgment, or their common sense, behind.
How to Walk Away From Peer Pressure
It is tough to be the only one who says "no" to peer pressure, but you can do it. Paying attention to your own feelings and beliefs about what is right and wrong can help you know the right thing to do. Inner strength and self-confidence can help you stand firm, walk away, and resist doing something when you know better.
It can really help to have at least one other peer, or friend, who is willing to say "no," too. This takes a lot of the power out of peer pressure and makes it much easier to resist. It's great to have friends with values similar to yours who will back you up when you don't want to do something.
You've probably had a parent or teacher advise you to "choose your friends wisely." Peer pressure is a big reason why they say this. If you choose friends who don't use drugs, cut class, smoke cigarettes, or lie to their parents, then you probably won't do these things either, even if other kids do. Try to help a friend who's having trouble resisting peer pressure. It can be powerful for one kid to join another by simply saying, "I'm with you - let's go."
Even if you're faced with peer pressure while you're alone, there are still things you can do. You can simply stay away from peers who pressure you to do stuff you know is wrong. You can tell them "no" and walk away. Better yet, find other friends and classmates to pal around with.
If you continue to face peer pressure and you're finding it difficult to handle, talk to someone you trust. Don't feel guilty if you've made a mistake or two. Talking to a parent, teacher, or school counselor can help you feel much better and prepare you for the next time you face peer pressure.
Powerful, Positive Peer Pressure
Peer pressure is not always a bad thing. For example, positive peer pressure can be used to pressure bullies into acting better toward other kids. If enough kids get together, peers can pressure each other into doing what's right!
What is Peer Pressure?
Peers influence your life, even if you don't realize it, just by spending time with you. You learn from them, and they learn from you. It's only human nature to listen to and learn from other people in your age group.
Peers can have a positive influence on each other: Maybe another student in your science class taught you an easy way to remember the planets in the solar system, or someone on the soccer team taught you a cool trick with the ball. You might admire a friend who is always a good sport and try to be more like him or her. Maybe you got others excited about your new favorite book, and now everyone's reading it. These are examples of how peers positively influence each other every day.
Sometimes peers influence each other in negative ways: For example, a few kids in school might try to get you to cut class with them, your soccer friend might try to convince you to be mean to another player and never pass her the ball, or a kid in the neighborhood might want you to shoplift with him.
Why Do People Give in to Peer Pressure?
Some kids give in to peer pressure because they want to be liked, to fit in, or because they worry that other kids may make fun of them if they don't go along with the group. Others may go along because they are curious to try something new that others are doing. The idea that "everyone's doing it" may influence some kids to leave their better judgment, or their common sense, behind.
How to Walk Away From Peer Pressure
It is tough to be the only one who says "no" to peer pressure, but you can do it. Paying attention to your own feelings and beliefs about what is right and wrong can help you know the right thing to do. Inner strength and self-confidence can help you stand firm, walk away, and resist doing something when you know better.
It can really help to have at least one other peer, or friend, who is willing to say "no," too. This takes a lot of the power out of peer pressure and makes it much easier to resist. It's great to have friends with values similar to yours who will back you up when you don't want to do something.
You've probably had a parent or teacher advise you to "choose your friends wisely." Peer pressure is a big reason why they say this. If you choose friends who don't use drugs, cut class, smoke cigarettes, or lie to their parents, then you probably won't do these things either, even if other kids do. Try to help a friend who's having trouble resisting peer pressure. It can be powerful for one kid to join another by simply saying, "I'm with you - let's go."
Even if you're faced with peer pressure while you're alone, there are still things you can do. You can simply stay away from peers who pressure you to do stuff you know is wrong. You can tell them "no" and walk away. Better yet, find other friends and classmates to pal around with.
If you continue to face peer pressure and you're finding it difficult to handle, talk to someone you trust. Don't feel guilty if you've made a mistake or two. Talking to a parent, teacher, or school counselor can help you feel much better and prepare you for the next time you face peer pressure.
Powerful, Positive Peer Pressure
Peer pressure is not always a bad thing. For example, positive peer pressure can be used to pressure bullies into acting better toward other kids. If enough kids get together, peers can pressure each other into doing what's right!
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