Wednesday, February 24, 2010

A very big and shameful evil system - Dowry!

Well, it's an International Woman's Day on 8th March we, women celebrates this day with a great zeal each year.

This year, I am one of the lucky women who got such a nice opportunity to participate in this blog contest based on woman issues and express my feelings towards one of the issues which is the most common problem and biggest evil in the Indian society i.e. domestic violence due to 'Dowry' and day by day it is becoming worst where not only girls are harassed but also her parents.

Yes, each day many of the woman faces this very shameful evil. Yes, Dowry is an evil, a very big and shameful evil system and all of us very well know about it. At some level, it is less and at some level it is very high. We even contribute to it. How? It's not one hand. Nothing happens one way..without any reason. Each and every action is responsible. Even modern, well-educated families start saving up money for their daughter's dowry as soon as she is born, so what can one expect from the uneducated masses, whose only form of education is tradition?

Each parents have a dream for their daughters, a very happy married life and so to fulfill those things, they save so many things from the very beginning and at the time of marriage they give more and more cash and gifts to their daughter so that she be happy and not dependable but after marriage when they hear that this is not enough and they want more and more then what?? If she is tortured and beaten up and harassed then? Not only materialists and cash has been taken but when you hear that their daughter is also left alone, badly beaten with so much pains then what would parents do?

Yes, above all the pains and diseases, one of the most shameful domestic violence is due to Dowry!!

Everyday there is a new case and new story based on this domestic violence in our country. Some are beaten, some are tortured, some suicide and some leave the in-laws house and divorced. I have seen many cases and also I know one of my friend's neighbor, her name was Nina (name changed) she committed suicide by hanging herself from a ceiling fan in her house because she was constantly harassed for dowry by her husband. And she could managed to do so and finally hanged herself. It is not just her story but there are many such cases which have been known for many years. I really feel bad about these systems 'Dowry' which is known as the gifts from girls home but actually it is a symptom of a deeper disease that relates to how our society values women. I know one of the women, who still reside near my sister's house. She has been married for 10 years now but still she has been harassed every forth day even though her brothers have fulfilled all their demands still her husband beats her sometimes and her in-laws torches her so much that she sometimes feels to die. But she had two kids and they love her so much that seeing so much love she doesn't want to divorce or leave her family and because of this one and only reason she is still living there and compromising everyday with them with an hope, one day, things would change.

There are lots of laws against dowry system in India but do you think it work? I don't think it works in every case because if one traced the districts where dowry demands are strongest, one would probably note a low female child sex ratio. And you can realize that for wherever a girl is seen as a burden because of dowry, you can also see that female children are being prevented from being born. Why? I have seen so many campaigns against female infanticide, a girl child murder you can say on TV and newspapers but still it doesn't work in many places. Not even people want to understand. There are few young couples who are planning for a baby girl but there is no drastic decline in the female child sex ratio in the more prosperous districts of the country. There are many questions but no answer.

With all these major issues, I would also like to say that of course, every problem has a remedy. There is a way out for dowry too but if it is taken seriously by each parents. What you need to do is provide your daughter with a solid education, and encourage her to pursue a career of her choice. It is the best dowry any parent can ever give their daughter. Education is very important and a biggest jewelery too for each girl. Instead of giving her dowry, give her fine knowledge i.e complete education and everyone is nice to her at her new home when she is educated, give her a great career, so that she get more respect because when she is career oriented woman everyone will respect her. But by change if they (in-laws) treat her badly, she can walk out, as she is not dependent on them. One of the reasons parents of the boy ask for dowry, is that they often expect that their son will be earning and supporting the wife, and it is only fair that she contribute somewhat towards the household by way of dowry. If your daughter is educated and has as good a career as her husband to be, you've got a strong step in your favor.

Think about it!!

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