Thursday, April 29, 2010

Anger Begins in Childhood

Yes, absolutely, anger begins in childhood.

We learn very early in life, when we are small babes in the cradle, that if we cry and raise a big enough fuss we will get fed, our wants are going to be met. That lesson is hard to forget. At times we still want to cry out, to say "I am not invisible, I am a real person." We want to make a fuss so that our needs will be met. The anger we feel when our needs are not met leads to bitter disappointment.

Sometimes when things that matter so much to us, whether they be temporal needs or spiritual perceptions, are not provided in a timely manner we become discouraged. We are fearful that these disappointments will go on for a period of time, or that they will never be achievable. This fear comes from trying to trust in self or others instead of trusting in God. It comes from not waiting on God and his time schedule. The safety and security that we long for at times can only be supplied by God.

This fear, along with our desire to fulfill our own needs, will lead to rebellion. We get angry toward anyone who stands in our way or who does not go along with our personal agenda. We begin to look only for those who can help us fill this personal agenda we have made for ourselves. Before long we make demands that cannot be fulfilled.

Even though we despise it, we have a tendency to hang on to our anger because the anger hurts less than the fear we feel. Eruptions of anger serve to dull the pain that is deep within us. In a false sense of the word, it gives us a feeling of security that we are controlling our own situations.

My little squab!

Hey folks – I have been watching from last few months, there is certain activities in my flower pot which was hanging in my balcony. You know what, a pigeon’s egg!!

Yes, today, it’s amazing feeling when I saw few baby pigeon in the hanging pot. I mean ’squabs’…you couldn’t believe it, they were just shouting and shouting to tell you something about their Mommy and Daddy and how they care for them, may be. They must have some alarm clocks built inside..

The mommy pigeon cares for them during the night. She sits on the nest – hey – that’s a small flower pot in the balcony of our house, open and clean area, wonderful place – always dry, protected from the wind and the crows, clean and very quiet. I really couldn’t understand what to do next. Probably, thinking of leaving them alone and let them fly.

They are not one, it’s more than three squab and always protected by their parents. Very nice!

Well, I think their mommy cares for them during the night and keeps them warm till the next day until 11.30, I guess. When she hears Daddy’s flapping of his wings she leaves the nest and Daddy starts his duty until the early evening at around 6 pm. I think Daddy is a bit greedy for food so he always stops on the food plate first before he sits down to take over his duties. But nevertheless he very much cares for them and protects them.

Sometimes he thinks that we are going too close to his beloved ones and so he starts hissing, blowing himself up like a bodybuilder – he makes himself really big – impressive – and really looks angry and is ready to do everything to defend his little ones. I think he is a bit a choleric – Mommy never makes such a fuss – I think she knows better that no-one is doing their kids any harm here.

You know, Pigeons has excellent eyesight, they also can see ultraviolet light – part of the light spectrum that humans can’t see. Pigeons everywhere have been celebrating. Not only are the skies totally empty of planes, they’re blue as well. You must be amazed to know that both the sexes produce crop milk to feed their young ones… :-)

Isn’t it so interesting!!!

Monday, April 19, 2010

My participation gift from Indusladies!

Recently, I had participated in Indusladies International Woman's Day Contest on Dowry and my title was A very big and shameful evil system - Dowry!It was really a great experience participating and it was a healthy competition.

Below is the participation gift, I received from Indusladies.com for participating in the contest.

Pic: A cap


Thank you Indusladies!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

A very big and shameful evil system - Dowry!

Well, it's an International Woman's Day on 8th March we, women celebrates this day with a great zeal each year.

This year, I am one of the lucky women who got such a nice opportunity to participate in this blog contest based on woman issues and express my feelings towards one of the issues which is the most common problem and biggest evil in the Indian society i.e. domestic violence due to 'Dowry' and day by day it is becoming worst where not only girls are harassed but also her parents.

Yes, each day many of the woman faces this very shameful evil. Yes, Dowry is an evil, a very big and shameful evil system and all of us very well know about it. At some level, it is less and at some level it is very high. We even contribute to it. How? It's not one hand. Nothing happens one way..without any reason. Each and every action is responsible. Even modern, well-educated families start saving up money for their daughter's dowry as soon as she is born, so what can one expect from the uneducated masses, whose only form of education is tradition?

Each parents have a dream for their daughters, a very happy married life and so to fulfill those things, they save so many things from the very beginning and at the time of marriage they give more and more cash and gifts to their daughter so that she be happy and not dependable but after marriage when they hear that this is not enough and they want more and more then what?? If she is tortured and beaten up and harassed then? Not only materialists and cash has been taken but when you hear that their daughter is also left alone, badly beaten with so much pains then what would parents do?

Yes, above all the pains and diseases, one of the most shameful domestic violence is due to Dowry!!

Everyday there is a new case and new story based on this domestic violence in our country. Some are beaten, some are tortured, some suicide and some leave the in-laws house and divorced. I have seen many cases and also I know one of my friend's neighbor, her name was Nina (name changed) she committed suicide by hanging herself from a ceiling fan in her house because she was constantly harassed for dowry by her husband. And she could managed to do so and finally hanged herself. It is not just her story but there are many such cases which have been known for many years. I really feel bad about these systems 'Dowry' which is known as the gifts from girls home but actually it is a symptom of a deeper disease that relates to how our society values women. I know one of the women, who still reside near my sister's house. She has been married for 10 years now but still she has been harassed every forth day even though her brothers have fulfilled all their demands still her husband beats her sometimes and her in-laws torches her so much that she sometimes feels to die. But she had two kids and they love her so much that seeing so much love she doesn't want to divorce or leave her family and because of this one and only reason she is still living there and compromising everyday with them with an hope, one day, things would change.

There are lots of laws against dowry system in India but do you think it work? I don't think it works in every case because if one traced the districts where dowry demands are strongest, one would probably note a low female child sex ratio. And you can realize that for wherever a girl is seen as a burden because of dowry, you can also see that female children are being prevented from being born. Why? I have seen so many campaigns against female infanticide, a girl child murder you can say on TV and newspapers but still it doesn't work in many places. Not even people want to understand. There are few young couples who are planning for a baby girl but there is no drastic decline in the female child sex ratio in the more prosperous districts of the country. There are many questions but no answer.

With all these major issues, I would also like to say that of course, every problem has a remedy. There is a way out for dowry too but if it is taken seriously by each parents. What you need to do is provide your daughter with a solid education, and encourage her to pursue a career of her choice. It is the best dowry any parent can ever give their daughter. Education is very important and a biggest jewelery too for each girl. Instead of giving her dowry, give her fine knowledge i.e complete education and everyone is nice to her at her new home when she is educated, give her a great career, so that she get more respect because when she is career oriented woman everyone will respect her. But by change if they (in-laws) treat her badly, she can walk out, as she is not dependent on them. One of the reasons parents of the boy ask for dowry, is that they often expect that their son will be earning and supporting the wife, and it is only fair that she contribute somewhat towards the household by way of dowry. If your daughter is educated and has as good a career as her husband to be, you've got a strong step in your favor.

Think about it!!

Monday, October 26, 2009

The Great India Place Mall

It was a long time, I had been to Noida. I guess, 6 months has already passed. After a so long time, my husband and I planned to go to the Great India Place Mall again. It is a nice place to hang out. So, as per our plan, we get ready and had our breakfast and then took out our car and make our way to the Great India Place Mall. It is not near to my house. I think, it probably takes more than 45 mins. to reach there. We started at 11:30 am and then gradually we reached there and parked our car in the parking area. It is so spacious. Whenever I go there, I love the way..I mean the express way, it is so smooth and feels so romantic. I love long drive...so refreshing!

Well, we went inside the Mall. The security guards checked my purse and belongings and also my whole body, they always check each and every person for security reason. As I entered, I was feeling lil' relax. As we reached here after a long journey i.e. an hour approx. Just on the way at the middle of the lane, I saw Baskin 31 Robin ice cream. We bought two cups of ice cream for 110 bucks and move towards the escalators for the first floor. And standing on the first floor peeping downwards all the activities there and enjoying ice cream. As we finished it we were just wondering around to each stores which are located there. There are many retail outlets of international brands of apparels, footwear, jewellery, books shop, restaurants, handlooms, etc. Also there is a big floor of Home Town and Big Bazaar which houses lots of home needs and care.

At Home town, you can see all the varieties of furniture which includes bed sets, dining sets, sofas, baby bed sets, mattresses, shoe racks, eZone electronics, TV Stands, Computer tables, dressing tables, cupboards, kitchen sets, bathroom sets, curtains, linen, towels, handlooms, cushions, utensils, chairs, coffee chair, coffee tables, book shelf, rather everything related to your home care and needs. You can find and buy anything here as per your budget. It is very spacious and all the major credit cards are accepted here.

At big bazaar, you can buy all the home needs, fashion apparels, food items at food bazaar inside, fruits and vegetables, groceries, jewellery, home care, furniture, foorwears, sports goods, gift items, utensils, dinner sets, Toiletries products, electronic products, perfumes, cosmetics, mattresses, toys, dolls, soft toys, books, baby care needs, kitchen wares, LCD TV, Monitors, computers, mobiles, etc. Here, there are variety of products at very discounted price and also low as compared to other departmental stores. Well, it is very big stores and houses so much of things inside of your daily care you can buy from.

Besides this there are many retail brands too which includes Lifestyle and Lifestyle Home, Reebok, Adidas, Titan, Liberty, Nike, Globus, Swatch watch, fast track, McDonald's, Baskin 31 Robin, Punjabi by Nature, Geleto ice cream, Puma, United Colors of Benetton, Pantaloon, Shoppers Stop, Bossini, Gravity, D&A Shoes, Lee Cooper, Tana Bana, Hallmark, BGs, Giovani, Pizza Hut, KFC, Guess, Marks & Spencer. Apart from these outlets there is also many jewellery shop like Hazoorilal, R C Jellewers, Cygnus, Taraash, Wardrobe from Dulhan Libas, Sita Bridal, Study by Janak and Renowned Fashion Designers, it's a one stop destination for those who look for perfection.

Also, there you can find many other entertainment zone apart from those brands which includes:

• 6-screen multiplex cinema
• Multiple theme park
• Indoor entertainment area

The Great India Place is a retail and entertainment complex as part of Entertainment City, an international standard amusement park. Also, there are other interesting Mall where you can hang out like The Centrestage Mall, Supertech Shopprix Mall. Sab Mall, Spice World Mall, etc.

Well, last time I went to buy a bed set for my house and this time I went there just to hang out in the weekend along with my husband. It was a nice trip!

There are ample lifts connecting all floors of the mall. The shopping outlets are located on all floors.The restaurants and The Food Court are on the 3rd floor. Also, the Adlabs multiplex have it’s entrance from the 3rd floor. In the Mall, designated accessible restrooms are available on most floors of the mall.

Well, we had enjoyed food there in KFC. They offer fast food. The food is great there but it was so much rush. If you who love fried chicken and delicious non vegetarian food. If you are looking to have a taste of finger licking chicken then KFC is the perfect place to visit. Be it Zinger burger, chicken delights, snacks, sandwiches, bowls, Desserts or a variety box meal, KFC has them all. The specialty lies in the rich fried chicken with perfect old recipe making it even more delicious. The whole menu at KFC stores and Outlets is based on batter fried chicken. There are combo meals that are good to sample a chicken meal including fried chicken, French fries and a drink. Add a side of coleslaw and the feeling is complete..Yummy!! KFC offers vegetarian food of its own class. Some of the latest additions to KFC menu are hot wings, crispy fried, spicy chicken wings. The service at the KFC stores and outlets are fast food with affordable price. I just love it!!

Well, my trip was great. I enjoyed a lot, had some shopping also and then by 7:30 pm we headed towards our house and reached safely. It was a nice trip to the Great India Place Mall. My weekends was full of excitement, feelings and happy emotions..

Monday, August 17, 2009

How to be a good friend?

In today's world to get a true friend and to be a good friend is very difficult. The most difficult thing is how to be a good friend to get a good friend. Friendship is all give and take process, if you won't help your friend and won't understand, the same, you will get. But this true that it is difficult to win the affection, appreciation and confidence of others, unless and until you have the basic qualities and characteristics that are related with being a good friend.

1. To be a good friend the most important thing is that you must what you are. Be real. Don't ever try to put on an act before your friend. Be yourself. Let yourself be known and accepted for your own merits, rather than for being somebody that you are not.

2. Honesty is the best policy. Be honest to your friend and also don't be clingy and give each other enough space. A good, honest friendship lasts a lifetime.

3. When you promise, fulfill it. Keep your promises, do what you say you are going to do, and most importantly never lie.

4. Be loyal. If your friend tells you something in confidence, don't talk about it to anyone else. Be dependable and respectful to your friend. Allow them the assurance of your trust and you will have a friend for life. Be reliable so your friend can trust the consistency of your friendship.

5. Always respect your friend, Know the boundaries. Things you and your friend discuss should be treated with care.

6. Don’t wait for friends to call you. Make an effort to keep in touch with people. Everyone is busy, but if you want to maintain good friendships you should be proactive about communications.

7. Don’t be someone that’s only in for complaining about life. When your friend hits it big – celebrate with them. When they’re interviewing for a new job – pull for them. When they want to find love – be gracious and supportive when they find it. There is nothing better in the world than having people that support and care about you. Go out of your way to show your support for your friend.

8. Good friends don’t call up people only to request a favor. Always show your gratitude for a kindness with a simple hand written note. There will be many opportunities to give and take and this will enhance the bond between you.

9. A good friend knows the importance of humor and laughter in the relationship. Laugh at their jokes and share funny stories with each other. You can be sure that laughter will bond you with someone and bring joy to the friendship.

10. When your friend talks, listen carefully to what they say. Make eye contact and give them an opportunity to express themselves completely. Good communication is imperative to good friendships. Offer advice when it is appropriate and never impose your opinion on them.

11.Encouragement to a friend during difficult times is a great way to show support. Sometimes having someone to lean on can help a situation seem manageable.

12. Love and cherish your friend. Show small acts of kindness to express your love. Love them when they are crabby and be quick to forgive. Be open with your love and appreciation for your friendship and never take one day for granted.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Ways to Handle Stress!

Here's some ways you can handle stress:

1. Get rid of what's causing the stress - if you can, (no, that doesn't mean your younger brother or sister or your parents).

2. Change your attitude toward what's causing the stress. (Easy to write, hard to do).

3. Face up to what's causing the stress until it isn’t stressful anymore.

4. Avoid hassles. Identify the things that stress you out and eliminate them or prepare yourself to cope with them. Take a day off, that's what weekends are for.

5. Pursue a new hobby or sport. Take time to do what you enjoy.

6. Don't deny or repress your emotions, this only compounds stress. Don't be afraid to cry, crying can relieve anxiety and let out bottled-up emotions which will relieve feelings of stress.

7. Work on creating a stress-free place in your home. Your room should be a safe stress-free place for you to go to. Decorate it so you find it calming, soothing and safe.

8. Talk to your Family and Friends. When you can talk to your parents in a loving and secure family, then that can help relieve a lot of the stress that you bring home from other places. BUT home is not heaven for a lot of teens and you can often run into many stressful situations there as you would anywhere else. You may have a close friend or a friend's parent(s) that you can talk to instead.

9. If you feel you simply cannot handle the stress in your life, consider outside help. You may be able to talk to a guidance counselor at school, or you may want to consult a qualified counselor or other practitioner who can help you handle your problems and learn effective stress reduction techniques.

It is often beneficial to talk with someone who can offer an objective response whether a trusted friend or a professional counselor.